I’ve been a gym rat my entire adult life so I consider myself an expert someone who’s seen their fair share of instructors and classes.  I’ve been through high impact, step, spin, Pilates and yoga…but this instructor rises high above all others.

Her look is part of the trick.  She’s a tiny, petite, tan, cute, blond, soft-spoken and fully clothed girl.  She’s hiding her inner powerhouse under those clothes and I am so on to her now!  Who knew the torture I was about to endure?  Who knew I would wake up in pain for the next 3 days?  She was almost like a pitbull in a Yorkshire terrior costume.  (BTW, I’m not a dog lover.) 

As usual, I walk into class to meet my friend, J, who’s always punctual.  She has our “stuff” all set up.  I look lovingly at the spin class that’s about to begin in the studio next door and a small tear rolls down my face, but I realize that I must stand firmly planted in this class.  I need to build muscle.  I’m a weakling!  I’ve read that muscles begin wasting away as you age.  (It’s a good thing I’m not aging or I’d really be concerned.)

 So class begins slowly.  A nice easy warm up.  Nothing unusual.  But then, hell froze over and we were in plank.  While plank is not easy for me in the first place, it’s really not easy to hold it while jumping our feet together (in and out), and then going right elbow, left elbow, right hand, left hand, and then balancing on the bosu ball and rocking left to right.  Yes, you heard me - all while in plank.  Just when we thought it was over, she told us to do another set and then ANOTHER SET.  Really?  I kidd you not!!!!  And here’s the thing - she was doing it with us just to prove that it could be done.

 The class didn’t end there.  Oh no!  That was just the first 15 minutes of torture.  We still had 45 minutes more and she wasn’t even breaking a sweat!  I think in some countries this is illegal!  After this we had to jump onto a platform, jump over six steps (jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump) and then do some crazy overhead press squat combo.  This girl doesn’t stop.  I wanted to run into the corner and cry. 

 I did look out the window on several occasions and wish I was in the psycho cycle class.  Cycle class is for babies compared to this.  How was I going to walk out of here without anyone noticing?  How was I going to walk down the steps to my car?  How was I going to make dinner?  How was I going to survive this?  Quite simply - I made a pact with myself.  As soon as my body looks like Lynette’s, I’m going to quit the gym and save myself $75/month.  I’m giving myself until Labor Day to lose 5 pounds and have a fraction of the definition she has.  I’ll keep you posted.

And then to make matters worse, she has two kids, ages 2 & 3.  Sometimes life isn’t fair!

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 11th, 2009 at 6:25 pm and is filed under Exercise, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.